Governess vs. Mistress — What's the Difference?
By Tayyaba Rehman & Urooj Arif — Updated on April 24, 2024
A governess is an educator responsible for teaching children in private homes, focusing on academic and moral development; a mistress, in contrast, can refer to a woman in a position of authority, or a man’s extramarital partner.
Difference Between Governess and Mistress
Table of Contents
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Key Differences
A governess is traditionally hired by families to educate children within the home, emphasizing academic and social upbringing, whereas a mistress may be understood in multiple contexts: she could be a woman in a managerial role or someone having an affair with a married man. Both terms imply influence over others, but in very different spheres.
In terms of employment, a governess is typically employed for her educational qualifications and ability to teach children, especially in historical contexts, on the other hand, the term "mistress" when used to signify a covert romantic partner, does not imply a formal job role but rather a personal and secretive relationship with someone who is usually married.
The social implications of being a governess are quite formal and respected within the scope of professional education, whereas being known as a mistress in the romantic sense can carry social stigma and complexities due to the nature of the relationship.
Historically, the role of a governess was often seen as a respectable position for unmarried women who needed to earn a living, while the title of mistress, when referred to a woman as a lover, was often associated with secrecy and scandal.
Both roles, while very different, highlight the varied positions women have occupied in societal and familial structures, reflecting changing social norms and attitudes toward women’s roles both in the workforce and personal relationships.
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Comparison Chart
Definition
A woman employed to teach children in their home
A woman in a position of authority, A man’s extramarital partner
Professional Context
Educational, formal employment
Managerial or authority role, Personal and secretive relationship
Social Implications
Respectable, educational role
Respectable if in leadership, Often stigmatized if a romantic partner
Historical Context
Respectable job for unmarried women
Authority figure, Associated with secrecy and scandal
Primary Function
Educating children
Managing or leading, Romantic involvement
Compare with Definitions
Governess
An educator who provides formal instruction in various subjects.
The children respected their governess for her knowledge and kind manner.
Mistress
A woman who has authority, control, or ownership, such as a female head of a household.
As the mistress of the estate, she oversaw the management of both the household and the grounds.
Governess
A tutor who lives with a family to provide education and moral guidance.
As a governess, she had significant influence over her charges’ upbringing.
Mistress
A female teacher or educator, especially in old usage.
The school mistress was strict but fair with her students.
Governess
A professional role typically filled by a woman in historical settings.
Being a governess was one of the few respectable employment opportunities for women in the 19th century.
Mistress
A title for a woman in a position of respect or authority.
The children were taught to always respect their mistress and her rules.
Governess
A caretaker of children’s educational needs within their home environment.
The governess scheduled daily lessons and educational outings for the children.
Mistress
A woman in a position of authority or governance.
The mistress of the college presided over its expansion and development.
Governess
A woman employed to educate and train children in a private household.
The governess was tasked with teaching the children French and mathematics.
Mistress
A woman in a position of authority, control, or ownership, as the head of a household
"Thirteen years had seen her mistress of Kellynch Hall" (Jane Austen).
Governess
A governess is a woman employed to teach and train children in a private household. In contrast to a nanny (formerly called a nurse), she concentrates on teaching children, rather than caring for their physical needs.
Mistress
A woman who owns or keeps an animal
A cat sitting in its mistress's lap.
Governess
(especially in former times) a woman employed to teach children in a private household.
Mistress
A woman who owns a slave.
Governess
A woman employed to educate and train the children of a private household.
Mistress
A woman with ultimate control over something
The mistress of her own mind.
Governess
A woman paid to educate children in their own home.
Mistress
A nation or country that has supremacy over others
Great Britain, once the mistress of the seas.
Governess
(rare) A female governor.
Mistress
Something personified as female that directs or reigns
"my mistress ... the open road" (Robert Louis Stevenson).
Governess
To work as governess; to educate children in their own home.
Mistress
A woman who has mastered a skill or branch of learning
A mistress of the culinary art.
Governess
A female governor; a woman invested with authority to control and direct; especially, one intrusted with the care and instruction of children, - usually in their homes.
Mistress
Mistress Used formerly as a courtesy title when speaking to or of a woman.
Governess
A woman entrusted with the care and supervision of a child (especially in a private home)
Mistress
Chiefly British A woman schoolteacher.
Mistress
A woman, specifically one with great control, authority or ownership
Male equivalent: master
She was the mistress of the estate-mansion, and owned the horses.
Mistress
A female teacher
Male equivalent: master
Games mistress
Mistress
A dominatrix
Male equivalent: master
Mistress
A woman well skilled in anything, or having the mastery over it
Mistress
A woman regarded with love and devotion; a sweetheart
Mistress
(Scotland) A married woman; a wife
Mistress
(obsolete) The jack in the game of bowls
Mistress
A female companion to a master a man with control, authority or ownership
Mistress
Female equivalent of master
Mistress
Female equivalent of mister
Mistress
Of a woman: to master; to learn or develop to a high degree of proficiency.
Mistress
(intransitive) To act or take the role of a mistress.
Mistress
A woman having power, authority, or ownership; a woman who exercises authority, is chief, etc.; the female head of a family, a school, etc.
The late queen's gentlewoman! a knight's daughter!To be her mistress' mistress!
Mistress
A woman well skilled in anything, or having the mastery over it.
A letter desires all young wives to make themselves mistresses of Wingate's Arithmetic.
Mistress
A woman regarded with love and devotion; she who has command over one's heart; a beloved object; a sweetheart.
Mistress
A title of courtesy formerly prefixed to the name of a woman, married or unmarried, but now superseded by the contracted forms, Mrs., for a married, and Miss, for an unmarried, woman.
Now Mistress Gilpin (careful soul).
Mistress
A married woman; a wife.
Several of the neighboring mistresses had assembled to witness the event of this memorable evening.
Mistress
The old name of the jack at bowls.
Mistress
To wait upon a mistress; to be courting.
Mistress
A woman schoolteacher (especially one regarded as strict)
Mistress
A woman master who directs the work of others
Common Curiosities
What historical period is most associated with governesses?
The role of a governess was most prominent during the Victorian era in the 19th century, especially in England.
How does the stigma associated with being a mistress affect personal relationships?
Being known as a mistress can complicate personal relationships due to societal views on fidelity and marriage, often leading to secrecy and social judgement.
What legal implications can the role of a mistress have in cases of divorce?
If a mistress is involved in a marital affair, her presence can impact divorce proceedings, potentially affecting settlements and custody arrangements.
What cultural depictions have influenced the perception of governesses?
Literature and films, such as "Jane Eyre" and "The Sound of Music," have shaped the cultural image of governesses as pivotal yet often romantically complicated figures.
Is the role of a governess still common today?
Today, the traditional role of a governess is less common, often replaced by modern teaching positions or nannies with educational duties.
What skills are essential for a governess?
Key skills for a governess include strong educational background, patience, good communication, and the ability to engage children in learning.
What are typical responsibilities of a governess?
A governess is responsible for the education of children, which includes teaching academic subjects, manners, and often a second language.
How does the income of a governess compare to other educational roles?
Historically, governesses were not highly paid, reflecting the limited economic opportunities for women, though they often received room and board as part of their compensation.
How do the roles of a governess and a mistress differ in terms of personal freedom?
A governess typically has more structured hours and responsibilities, while a mistress's interactions are often dictated by the availability and discretion of the involved parties.
Can men be governesses?
Traditionally, the term governess is gender-specific to women; men in similar roles are typically referred to as tutors or governors.
Does the role of a mistress have any professional or social benefits?
While typically seen as socially problematic, being a mistress can sometimes offer financial support or social elevation, albeit usually under complex and secretive circumstances.
How do societal views on mistresses vary across cultures?
Societal views on mistresses vary widely, with some cultures more accepting of extramarital relationships than others, which often reflects broader attitudes towards marriage and fidelity.
What are the emotional challenges faced by a mistress?
A mistress may face significant emotional challenges, including feelings of isolation, guilt, and anxiety over the uncertain nature of the relationship.
How do children typically perceive their governess?
Children's perceptions can vary widely; some may view the governess as a parental figure, while others might see her as an authority figure from whom they seek independence.
What historical changes have affected the roles of governesses and mistresses?
Social reforms, changes in women's rights, and evolving attitudes toward marriage and education have significantly altered the roles and perceptions of both governesses and mistresses over time.
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Written by
Tayyaba RehmanTayyaba Rehman is a distinguished writer, currently serving as a primary contributor to askdifference.com. As a researcher in semantics and etymology, Tayyaba's passion for the complexity of languages and their distinctions has found a perfect home on the platform. Tayyaba delves into the intricacies of language, distinguishing between commonly confused words and phrases, thereby providing clarity for readers worldwide.
Co-written by
Urooj ArifUrooj is a skilled content writer at Ask Difference, known for her exceptional ability to simplify complex topics into engaging and informative content. With a passion for research and a flair for clear, concise writing, she consistently delivers articles that resonate with our diverse audience.
