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Jealous vs. Possessive — What's the Difference?

Edited by Tayyaba Rehman — By Fiza Rafique — Updated on October 5, 2023
Jealous is wanting what someone else has. Possessive is wanting to exclusively control or own someone/something.
Jealous vs. Possessive — What's the Difference?

Difference Between Jealous and Possessive

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Key Differences

In human emotions, jealous can often arise from a place of lacking, where the desire for what others have brings forth negative feelings. It's a sentiment that orbits around an external entity or person, which is possessed or enjoyed by someone else, sparking envy and longing.
Contrastingly, being possessive does not necessarily sprout from a place of envy or want but from a controlling and dominating place. A possessive person may want exclusive control or ownership over a person or thing, often becoming overbearing or domineering in their pursuit to retain or assert control.
When exploring jealousy, it could manifest in various shades, possibly extending towards becoming covetous or begrudging. The spectrum ranges from a mild, benign envy to a malignant, resentment-filled jealousy, indicating a multifaceted nature.
Meanwhile, possessiveness tends to exhibit a more singularly focused emotion, often revolving around ownership and control. It can indicate a level of unhealthy attachment and a fear of loss, which drives the person to exert control over the subject of their possessiveness.
A jealous person may exhibit feelings of resentment, insecurity, and dissatisfaction regarding others’ achievements, possessions, or qualities. This stems from a perception of personal inadequacy or fear of being less than the entity they are jealous of.
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On the flip side, a possessive person may not necessarily harbor feelings of inadequacy but will have a tendency to bind, control, or own the subject, often stemming from fear of loss or insecurity about maintaining closeness with the object or person of their possession.

Comparison Chart

Basic Emotion

Envy
Desire for control

Relation to Object

Desire for others' possession
Desire to keep what one has

Manifestation

Resentment, longing
Domination, control

Root Cause

Inadequacy, want
Fear of loss, insecurity

Direction of Emotion

Outwards towards others
Inwards towards owned object

Compare with Definitions

Jealous

Resentful toward another's adavantages.
She couldn’t hide her jealous demeanor towards her colleague.

Possessive

Desiring exclusive rights to control or ownership.
The possessive investor did not want to share profits.

Jealous

Desiring what others have.
He always felt jealous of his brother’s wealth.

Possessive

Overly protective about one’s belongings or loved ones.
Her possessive behavior towards her books was known to all.

Jealous

Fearful or wary of losing one's position or situation to someone else, especially in a sexual relationship
Her new boyfriend was jealous of her male friends.

Possessive

Wanting exclusive control or ownership.
His possessive nature strained their relationship.

Jealous

Envious or resentful of the good fortune or achievements of another
I felt jealous when my coworker got a promotion. See Usage Note below.

Possessive

Dominating and overbearing in relationships.
Her possessive tendencies were suffocating.

Jealous

Having to do with or arising from feelings of apprehension, bitterness, or envy
Jealous thoughts.

Possessive

A possessive or ktetic form (abbreviated POSS; from Latin: possessivus; Ancient Greek: κτητικός ktētikós) is a word or grammatical construction used to indicate a relationship of possession in a broad sense. This can include strict ownership, or a number of other types of relation to a greater or lesser degree analogous to it.Most European languages feature possessive forms associated with personal pronouns, like the English my, mine, your, yours, his and so on.

Jealous

Vigilant in guarding something
We are jealous of our good name.

Possessive

Of or relating to ownership or possession.

Jealous

Intolerant of disloyalty or infidelity; autocratic
A jealous god.

Possessive

Having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate another, especially in order to limit that person's relationships with others
A possessive parent.

Jealous

Suspecting rivalry in love; troubled by worries that one might have been replaced in someone's affections; suspicious of a lover's or spouse's fidelity.

Possessive

(Grammar) Of, relating to, or being a noun or pronoun case that indicates possession.

Jealous

Protective; zealously guarding; careful in the protection of something (or someone) one has or appreciates, especially one's spouse or lover.

Possessive

The possessive case.

Jealous

Envious; feeling resentful or angered toward someone for a perceived advantage or success, material or otherwise.
I'm jealous because I'm single.

Possessive

A possessive form or construction.

Jealous

Suspecting, suspicious.

Possessive

Of or pertaining to ownership or possession.

Jealous

Zealous; solicitous; vigilant; anxiously watchful.
I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts.
How nicely jealous is every one of us of his own repute!

Possessive

(grammar) Indicating ownership, possession, origin, etc.

Jealous

Apprehensive; anxious; suspiciously watchful.
'This doing wrong creates such doubts as these,Renders us jealous and disturbs our peace.
The people are so jealous of the clergy's ambition.

Possessive

Unwilling to yield possession of.
He is very possessive of his car.

Jealous

Demanding exclusive devotion; intolerant of rivalry.
Thou shalt worship no other God; for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

Possessive

(grammar) The possessive case.

Jealous

Disposed to suspect rivalry in matters of interest and affection; apprehensive regarding the motives of possible rivals, or the fidelity of friends; distrustful; having morbid fear of rivalry in love or preference given to another; painfully suspicious of the faithfulness of husband, wife, or lover.
If the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife.
To both these sisters have I sworn my love:Each jealous of the other, as the stungAre of the adder.
It is one of the best bonds, both of chastity and obedience, in the wife, if she think her husband wise; which she will never do if she find him jealous.

Possessive

(grammar) A word used to indicate the possessive case.

Jealous

Showing extreme cupidity; painfully desirous of another's advantages;
He was never covetous before he met her
Jealous of his success and covetous of his possessions
Envious of their art collection

Possessive

Of or pertaining to possession; having or indicating possession.

Jealous

Suspicious or unduly suspicious or fearful of being displaced by a rival;
A jealous lover

Possessive

The possessive case.

Jealous

Feeling envious of someone's possessions or qualities.
She was jealous of her friend's success.

Possessive

A possessive pronoun, or a word in the possessive case.

Jealous

Unhappy about the thought of others’ success.
His jealous thoughts consumed him.

Possessive

Serving to express or indicate possession;
Possessive pronouns
The genitive endings

Jealous

Wanting to have the qualities or possessions of another.
Jealous of her talent, he spread false rumors.

Possessive

Desirous of owning;
Small children are so possessive they will not let others play with their toys

Possessive

Having or showing a desire to control or dominate;
A possessive parent

Possessive

Eager to own or control.
The dog was possessive over his toys.

Common Curiosities

Can jealousy be healthy?

In small doses, jealousy can potentially drive motivation and improvement, but excessive jealousy is generally considered unhealthy.

Can you feel both jealous and possessive simultaneously?

Yes, jealousy and possessiveness can coexist, where one may be envious of others while also wanting to tightly control what they have.

What is the root emotion behind being jealous?

Jealousy often stems from envy and a sense of inadequacy or lacking.

Can possessiveness ever be justified?

While some argue certain situations may warrant possessiveness, healthy relationships typically encourage trust and independence.

Can jealousy affect mental health?

Yes, persistent jealousy can negatively impact mental health, leading to stress, anxiety, and relationship issues.

Does being possessive indicate a personality flaw?

Being excessively possessive can indicate issues with trust and control, which may be considered detrimental in relationships.

How does jealousy manifest in relationships?

Jealousy in relationships may manifest as envy towards others who interact with one's partner or towards a partner’s successes.

Is possessiveness related to insecurity?

Yes, possessiveness often stems from insecurity and a fear of losing what one has.

How is possessiveness portrayed in media?

Possessiveness is sometimes romanticized in media but is generally considered unhealthy in real-life relationships.

How to manage jealous feelings?

Managing jealousy often involves introspection, understanding the root causes, and practicing emotional regulation and empathy.

How can possessiveness be reduced?

Reducing possessiveness involves building trust, embracing insecurity, and fostering a sense of self-independent of external possessions or relationships.

Can jealousy lead to anger?

Yes, jealousy can elicit anger, especially when the object of envy is unattainable or when it triggers feelings of inadequacy.

Is jealousy a universal emotion?

Jealousy is widely recognized as a common emotion experienced across various cultures and societies.

Can possessiveness impact friendships?

Yes, possessiveness can strain friendships by limiting freedom and cultivating an unhealthy dynamic.

Does possessiveness imply ownership?

Possessiveness often reflects a desire for control and is commonly misinterpreted as a form of ownership in relationships, which is largely unhealthy.

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Author Spotlight

Written by
Fiza Rafique
Fiza Rafique is a skilled content writer at AskDifference.com, where she meticulously refines and enhances written pieces. Drawing from her vast editorial expertise, Fiza ensures clarity, accuracy, and precision in every article. Passionate about language, she continually seeks to elevate the quality of content for readers worldwide.
Tayyaba Rehman is a distinguished writer, currently serving as a primary contributor to askdifference.com. As a researcher in semantics and etymology, Tayyaba's passion for the complexity of languages and their distinctions has found a perfect home on the platform. Tayyaba delves into the intricacies of language, distinguishing between commonly confused words and phrases, thereby providing clarity for readers worldwide.

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