Mean vs. Selfish — What's the Difference?
By Tayyaba Rehman & Maham Liaqat — Updated on May 14, 2024
"Mean" refers to being unkind or spiteful, often intentionally causing distress; "selfish" denotes prioritizing one's own needs or desires, often at the expense of others.
Difference Between Mean and Selfish
Table of Contents
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Key Differences
Being mean involves actions or words that are intentionally harsh, hurtful, or unkind towards others. This behavior is often directed to cause emotional or physical pain. On the other hand, selfishness is characterized by putting one's own interests, needs, and desires ahead of those of others, which can lead to neglecting or disregarding the welfare of others.
A mean person may engage in behaviors such as bullying, insulting, or belittling others, demonstrating a disregard for the feelings and well-being of others. Conversely, a selfish person might not directly harm others but will focus primarily on their own gain, which can indirectly hurt others by omission or neglect.
The intent behind meanness is typically to inflict pain or assert dominance, which can manifest in both verbal and non-verbal aggression. In contrast, selfishness often stems from a lack of empathy or an excessive focus on personal gain, rather than a deliberate desire to harm others.
While mean behavior is almost universally viewed negatively due to its harmful impact, selfishness can sometimes be seen in a more neutral light, depending on the context. For example, prioritizing one's own needs in situations of self-care or survival might not carry the same negative connotation.
Both traits can strain relationships; mean behavior can create fear or resentment, while selfish behavior can lead to feelings of being undervalued or neglected. Recognizing and addressing these behaviors can help individuals maintain healthier interpersonal dynamics.
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Comparison Chart
Definition
Intentionally causing distress through actions or words.
Prioritizing one's own needs or desires over others'.
Key Behaviors
Bullying, insulting, harming others.
Ignoring others' needs, hoarding resources.
Intent
To inflict pain or assert dominance.
To gain or preserve self-interests.
Impact on Relationships
Creates fear, resentment.
Leads to feelings of neglect, undervaluation.
Social Perception
Universally negative.
Can be negative; sometimes neutral or positive.
Compare with Definitions
Mean
Engaging in malicious actions or remarks.
Spreading mean rumors that harm others' reputations is a common tactic in high school dramas.
Selfish
Focused on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.
She was too selfish to consider how cancelling plans last minute affected her friends.
Mean
Showing a lack of kindness or empathy.
Her mean refusal to share resources with a struggling coworker was noted by her peers.
Selfish
Exhibiting a lack of empathy or consideration for others.
Her selfish decision to monopolize the conversation left others feeling unheard.
Mean
Often associated with a spiteful or vindictive attitude.
His mean-spirited prank on his neighbor escalated into a full-blown feud.
Selfish
Often associated with a self-centered perspective.
His selfish perspective on sharing chores made living together difficult.
Mean
There are several kinds of mean in mathematics, especially in statistics: For a data set, the arithmetic mean, also known as average or arithmetic average, is a central value of a finite set of numbers: specifically, the sum of the values divided by the number of values. The arithmetic mean of a set of numbers x1, x2, ..., xn is typically denoted by x ¯ {\displaystyle {\bar {x}}} .
Selfish
Prioritizing personal gain over communal or shared benefits.
His selfish approach to teamwork often led to conflicts within the group.
Mean
Intend to convey or refer to (a particular thing); signify
I don't know what you mean
I meant you, not Jones
He was asked to clarify what his remarks meant
Selfish
Concerned chiefly or excessively with oneself, and having little regard for others
A selfish child who wouldn't share toys.
Mean
Intend (something) to occur or be the case
It was meant to be a secret
They mean no harm
Selfish
Showing or arising from an excessive concern with oneself and a lack of concern for others
A selfish whim.
Mean
Have as a consequence or result
The proposals are likely to mean another hundred closures
Heavy rain meant that the pitch was waterlogged
Selfish
The present quote doesn't illustrate the meaning very well.Holding one's own self-interest as the standard for decision making.
Mean
Unwilling to give or share things, especially money; not generous
They're not mean with the garlic
She felt mean not giving a tip
Selfish
Having regard for oneself above others’ well-being.
Mean
Unkind, spiteful, or unfair
I was mean to them over the festive season
Selfish
(video game characters) Relying on their own actions and capabilities to be effective in the game, rather than on other characters.
Mean
(especially of a place) poor in quality and appearance; shabby
Her home was mean and small
Selfish
Caring supremely or unduly for one's self; regarding one's own comfort, advantage, etc., in disregard, or at the expense, of those of others.
They judge of things according to their own private appetites and selfish passions.
In that throng of selfish hearts untrue.
Mean
Very skilful or effective; excellent
She dances a mean tango
He's a mean cook
Selfish
Believing or teaching that the chief motives of human action are derived from love of self.
Hobbes and the selfish school of philosophers.
Mean
(of a quantity) calculated as a mean; average
Participants in the study had a mean age of 35 years
Selfish
Concerned chiefly or only with yourself;
Selfish men were...trying to make capital for themselves out of the sacred cause of civil rights
Mean
Equally far from two extremes
Hope is the mean virtue between despair and presumption
Selfish
Acting with disregard for the needs or wishes of others.
He selfishly ate the last piece of cake, even though everyone else hadn't had a slice.
Mean
The value obtained by dividing the sum of several quantities by their number; an average
Acid output was calculated by taking the mean of all three samples
Mean
A condition, quality, or course of action equally removed from two opposite extremes
The measure expresses a mean between saving and splashing out
Mean
To be used to convey; denote
"'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things'" (Lewis Carroll).
Mean
To act as a symbol of; signify or represent
In this poem, the budding flower means youth.
Mean
To intend to convey or indicate
"No one means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous" (Henry Adams).
Mean
To have as a purpose or an intention; intend
I meant to go running this morning, but I overslept.
Mean
To design, intend, or destine for a certain purpose or end
A building that was meant for storage.
A student who was meant to be a scientist.
Mean
To have as a consequence; bring about
Friction means heat.
Mean
To have the importance or value of
The opinions of the critics meant nothing to him. She meant so much to me.
Mean
To have intentions of a specified kind; be disposed
They mean well but lack tact.
Mean
Lacking in kindness; unkind
The teacher was not being mean in asking you to be quiet.
Mean
Cruel, spiteful, or malicious
A mean boy who liked to make fun of others.
Mean
Expressing spite or malice
Gave me a mean look.
Mean
Tending toward or characterized by cruelty or violence
Mean streets.
Mean
Extremely unpleasant or disagreeable
The meanest storm in years.
Mean
Ignoble; base
A mean motive. ].
Mean
Occupying a middle or intermediate position between two extremes.
Mean
Intermediate in size, extent, quality, time, or degree; medium.
Mean
Something having a position, quality, or condition midway between extremes; a medium.
Mean
A number that typifies a set of numbers, such as a geometric mean or an arithmetic mean.
Mean
The average value of a set of numbers.
Mean
(Logic) The middle term in a syllogism.
Mean
Means (used with a sing. or pl. verb) A method, a course of action, or an instrument by which an act can be accomplished or an end achieved.
Mean
Money, property, or other wealth
You ought to live within your means.
Mean
Great wealth
A woman of means.
Mean
To intend.
Mean
(transitive) To intend, to plan (to do); to have as one's intention.
I didn't mean to knock your tooth out.
I mean to go to Baddeck this summer.
I meant to take the car in for a smog check, but it slipped my mind.
The authors meant a challenge to the status quo.
Mean
(intransitive) To have as intentions of a given kind.
Don't be angry; she meant well.
Mean
To intend (something) for a given purpose or fate; to predestine.
Actually this desk was meant for the subeditor.
Man was not meant to question such things.
Mean
(transitive) To intend an ensuing comment or statement as an explanation.[https://www.lexico.com/en/definition/i_mean%20I%20mean]
Your reasoning seems needlessly abstruse, complex, and verbose for me. I mean, could you dumb it down for my sake?
Mean
To convey (a meaning).
Mean
(transitive) To convey (a given sense); to signify, or indicate (an object or idea).
The sky is red this morning—does that mean we're in for a storm?
Mean
(transitive) Of a word, symbol etc: to have reference to, to signify.
What does this hieroglyph mean?
Mean
(transitive) Of a person (or animal etc): to intend to express, to imply, to hint at, to allude.
I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean.
He is a little different, if you know what I mean.
Mean
(transitive) To have conviction in (something said or expressed); to be sincere in (what one says).
Does she really mean what she said to him last night?
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Mean
(transitive) To cause or produce (a given result); to bring about (a given result).
One faltering step means certain death.
Mean
(usually with to) To be of some level of importance.
That little dog meant everything to me.
Formality and titles mean nothing in their circle.
Mean
To lament.
Mean
(obsolete) Common; general.
Mean
Of a common or low origin, grade, or quality; common; humble.
A man of mean parentage
A mean abode
Mean
Low in quality or degree; inferior; poor; shabby.
A mean appearance
A mean dress
Mean
Without dignity of mind; destitute of honour; low-minded; spiritless; base.
A mean motive
It was mean of you to steal that little girl's piggy bank.
Mean
Of little value or worth; worthy of little or no regard; contemptible; despicable.
Mean
Ungenerous; stingy; tight-fisted.
He's so mean. I've never seen him spend so much as five pounds on presents for his children.
Mean
Disobliging; pettily offensive or unaccommodating.
Mean
Intending to cause harm, successfully or otherwise; bearing ill will towards another.
Watch out for her, she's mean. I said good morning to her, and she punched me in the nose.
Mean
Powerful; fierce; strong.
It must have been a mean typhoon that levelled this town.
Mean
(colloquial) Accomplished with great skill; deft; hard to compete with.
Your mother can roll a mean cigarette.
He hits a mean backhand.
Mean
Difficult, tricky.
This problem is mean!
Mean
Having the mean (see noun below) as its value; average.
The mean family has 2.4 children.
Mean
(obsolete) Middling; intermediate; moderately good, tolerable.
Mean
A method or course of action used to achieve some result.
Mean
An intermediate step or intermediate steps.
Mean
Something which is intermediate or in the middle; an intermediate value or range of values; a medium.
Mean
The middle part of three-part polyphonic music; now specifically, the alto part in polyphonic music; an alto instrument.
Mean
(statistics) The average of a set of values, calculated by summing them together and dividing by the number of terms; the arithmetic mean.
Mean
(mathematics) Any function of multiple variables that satisfies certain properties and yields a number representative of its arguments; or, the number so yielded; a measure of central tendency.
Mean
(mathematics) Either of the two numbers in the middle of a conventionally presented proportion, as 2 and 3 in 1:2=3:6.
Mean
To have in the mind, as a purpose, intention, etc.; to intend; to purpose; to design; as, what do you mean to do?
What mean ye by this service ?
Ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good.
I am not a SpaniardTo say that it is yours and not to mean it.
Mean
To signify; to indicate; to import; to denote.
What mean these seven ewe lambs ?
Go ye, and learn what that meaneth.
Mean
To have a purpose or intention.
Mean
Destitute of distinction or eminence; common; low; vulgar; humble.
The mean man boweth down, and the great man humbleth himself.
Mean
Wanting dignity of mind; low-minded; base; destitute of honor; spiritless; as, a mean motive.
Can you imagine I so mean could prove,To save my life by changing of my love ?
Mean
Of little value or account; worthy of little or no regard; contemptible; despicable.
The Roman legions and great Cæsar foundOur fathers no mean foes.
Mean
Of poor quality; as, mean fare.
Mean
Penurious; stingy; close-fisted; illiberal; as, mean hospitality.
Mean
Occupying a middle position; middle; being about midway between extremes.
Being of middle age and a mean stature.
Mean
Intermediate in excellence of any kind.
According to the fittest style of lofty, mean, or lowly.
Mean
Average; having an intermediate value between two extremes, or between the several successive values of a variable quantity during one cycle of variation; as, mean distance; mean motion; mean solar day.
Mean
That which is mean, or intermediate, between two extremes of place, time, or number; the middle point or place; middle rate or degree; mediocrity; medium; absence of extremes or excess; moderation; measure.
But to speak in a mean, the virtue of prosperity is temperance; the virtue of adversity is fortitude.
There is a mean in all things.
The extremes we have mentioned, between which the wellinstracted Christian holds the mean, are correlatives.
Mean
A quantity having an intermediate value between several others, from which it is derived, and of which it expresses the resultant value; usually, unless otherwise specified, it is the simple average, formed by adding the quantities together and dividing by their number, which is called an arithmetical mean. A geometrical mean is the nth root of the product of the n quantities being averaged.
Mean
That through which, or by the help of which, an end is attained; something tending to an object desired; intermediate agency or measure; necessary condition or coagent; instrument.
Their virtuous conversation was a mean to work the conversion of the heathen to Christ.
You may be able, by this mean, to review your own scientific acquirements.
Philosophical doubt is not an end, but a mean.
By this means he had them more at vantage.
What other means is left unto us.
Mean
Resources; property, revenue, or the like, considered as the condition of easy livelihood, or an instrumentality at command for effecting any purpose; disposable force or substance.
Your means are very slender, and your waste is great.
Mean
A part, whether alto or tenor, intermediate between the soprano and base; a middle part.
The mean is drowned with your unruly base.
Mean
Meantime; meanwhile.
Mean
A mediator; a go-between.
He wooeth her by means and by brokage.
If by any means I might attain to the resurrection of the dead.
The wine on this side of the lake is by no means so good as that on the other.
Mean
An average of n numbers computed by adding some function of the numbers and dividing by some function of n
Mean
Mean or intend to express or convey;
You never understand what I mean!
What do his words intend?
Mean
Have as a logical consequence;
The water shortage means that we have to stop taking long showers
Mean
Denote or connote;
`maison' means `house' in French
An example sentence would show what this word means
Mean
Have in mind as a purpose;
I mean no harm
I only meant to help you
She didn't think to harm me
We thought to return early that night
Mean
Have a specified degree of importance;
My ex-husband means nothing to me
Happiness means everything
Mean
Intend to refer to;
I'm thinking of good food when I talk about France
Yes, I meant you when I complained about people who gossip!
Mean
Destine or designate for a certain purpose;
These flowers were meant for you
Mean
Approximating the statistical norm or average or expected value;
The average income in New England is below that of the nation
Of average height for his age
The mean annual rainfall
Mean
Characterized by malice;
A hateful thing to do
In a mean mood
Mean
Having or showing an ignoble lack of honor or morality;
That liberal obedience without which your army would be a base rabble
Taking a mean advantage
Chok'd with ambition of the meaner sort
Something essentially vulgar and meanspirited in politics
Mean
Excellent;
Famous for a mean backhand
Mean
Marked by poverty befitting a beggar;
A beggarly existence in the slums
A mean hut
Mean
Used of persons or behavior; characterized by or indicative of lack of generosity;
A mean person
He left a miserly tip
Mean
Used of sums of money; so small in amount as to deserve contempt
Mean
Exhibiting hostility or ill will towards others.
He was mean to his classmates, often mocking them for no reason.
Mean
Deliberately causing pain or distress to others.
The supervisor's mean comments about her team's efforts demoralized everyone.
Common Curiosities
Are there psychological reasons behind mean or selfish behaviors?
Yes, psychological factors such as past traumas, upbringing, insecurity, or mental health issues can contribute to both mean and selfish behaviors.
Can mean or selfish traits be changed?
With self-awareness, desire to change, and possibly professional help, individuals can modify mean or selfish behaviors and develop more empathetic and cooperative traits.
Is selfishness always negative?
Not always; sometimes prioritizing one's own needs, especially in terms of self-care or survival, is necessary and not negatively viewed.
What is the primary difference between being mean and being selfish?
The primary difference is intent; mean behavior aims to harm or demean others, while selfishness focuses on self-interest often at the expense of others' needs.
Is there a cultural component to how meanness and selfishness are perceived?
Cultural values and social norms significantly influence how mean and selfish behaviors are perceived and what is considered acceptable in social interactions.
What role do empathy and emotional intelligence play in combating meanness and selfishness?
High levels of empathy and emotional intelligence can help individuals understand the impact of their actions on others, leading to less mean and selfish behavior and more considerate interactions.
Can someone be mean without being selfish?
Yes, someone can be mean (intentionally hurtful) without being selfish if their actions are not motivated by self-interest but rather by other factors like anger or spite.
How can one manage a relationship with a mean or selfish person?
Managing relationships with mean or selfish individuals involves setting clear boundaries, communicating openly about the impact of their behavior, and sometimes seeking external support or counseling.
How do mean and selfish behaviors affect workplace dynamics?
Both mean and selfish behaviors can undermine teamwork, reduce morale, and contribute to a toxic work environment, impacting overall productivity and job satisfaction.
How do children learn about mean and selfish behaviors?
Children learn about such behaviors through observation of adults and peers, media influences, and direct experiences of being treated in mean or selfish ways.
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Written by
Tayyaba RehmanTayyaba Rehman is a distinguished writer, currently serving as a primary contributor to askdifference.com. As a researcher in semantics and etymology, Tayyaba's passion for the complexity of languages and their distinctions has found a perfect home on the platform. Tayyaba delves into the intricacies of language, distinguishing between commonly confused words and phrases, thereby providing clarity for readers worldwide.
Co-written by
Maham Liaqat
