Ask Difference

Modest vs. Shy — What's the Difference?

By Fiza Rafique & Maham Liaqat — Updated on May 2, 2024
Modesty is the quality of being unassuming in the estimation of one's abilities, while shyness is a discomfort or inhibition in social situations.
Modest vs. Shy — What's the Difference?

Difference Between Modest and Shy

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Key Differences

Modesty involves a low view of one's importance or a deliberate choice to not flaunt one's abilities or achievements. It often reflects a conscious ethical or cultural value. Shyness, on the other hand, is primarily an emotional or psychological condition characterized by feelings of nervousness or timidity, especially in social contexts.
While modesty is expressed through behavior and attitudes that show restraint in self-promotion, shyness manifests as reluctance or inability to engage comfortably with others. This can include avoiding social interactions or feeling anxious when attention is directed toward oneself.
People can be modest about their talents or accomplishments without necessarily being shy; they may simply prefer to keep a low profile or consider their achievements to be of normal or minor significance. Conversely, a shy person might not feel modest about their skills but may be too anxious or lacking in confidence to share them openly.
Modesty is generally seen as a positive trait, valued in many social and professional environments as a sign of good character or politeness. Shyness, while not inherently negative, can be perceived as a barrier to effective communication and may be viewed less favorably, especially in cultures that value assertiveness.
In social settings, a modest person might deflect praise or downplay their success, whereas a shy individual might avoid social gatherings altogether or struggle to speak up even when they have valuable ideas or opinions.
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Comparison Chart

Definition

The quality of being unassuming or moderate.
Discomfort or inhibition in social situations.

Behavioral Expression

Understating one's abilities or achievements.
Hesitation or withdrawal in social interactions.

Psychological Basis

Often based on values or ethical beliefs.
Rooted in emotional responses like anxiety.

Perception in Society

Seen as a virtue or positive trait.
Can be seen as a hindrance in social interaction.

Relationship to Confidence

Does not necessarily reflect low self-confidence.
Often linked to low self-esteem or confidence.

Compare with Definitions

Modest

Free from vanity or showiness.
They lived in a modest house despite their wealth.

Shy

Sensitive to potential negative evaluations by others.
Shyness in children can often be misinterpreted as unfriendliness.

Modest

A mode of dress and behavior intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.
Her modest attire was appropriate for the solemn occasion.

Shy

The condition of feeling nervous or timid in the company of other people.
Her shyness made it difficult to make new friends at school.

Modest

Showing a moderate estimation of one's merits.
Despite her vast knowledge, her modesty keeps her from boasting.

Shy

Tending to avoid social interactions.
His shyness kept him from attending the party.

Modest

Reserved in the expression of one’s abilities.
His modesty often led others to underestimate his talents.

Shy

Discomfort in situations where one might be the center of attention.
His shyness is apparent whenever he is asked to present his ideas in meetings.

Modest

The quality of not being too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities.
He accepted the award with modesty, attributing his success to his team.

Shy

Inhibited in acting or speaking before others.
Shyness overcame her when asked to speak in front of the crowd.

Modest

Modest may refer to:

Shy

Nervous or timid in the company of other people
I was pretty shy at school
A shy smile

Modest

Unassuming in the estimation of one's abilities or achievements
He was a very modest man, refusing to take any credit for the enterprise

Shy

Less than; short of
The shares are 29p shy of their flotation price

Modest

(of an amount, rate, or level) relatively moderate, limited, or small
Drink modest amounts of alcohol
Employment growth was relatively modest

Shy

(of a plant) not bearing flowers or fruit well or prolifically.

Modest

Having or showing a moderate estimation of one's own abilities, accomplishments, or value
Was too modest to talk about his success.

Shy

(especially of a horse) start suddenly aside in fright at an object, noise, or movement
Their horses shied at the unfamiliar sight

Modest

Having or proceeding from a disinclination to call attention to oneself; retiring or diffident
A quiet, modest demeanor.

Shy

Fling or throw (something) at a target
He tore the spectacles off and shied them at her

Modest

Free from showiness or ostentation; unpretentious
A house with modest furnishings.

Shy

A sudden startled movement, especially of a frightened horse.

Modest

Moderate or limited in size, quantity, or range; not extreme
A modest price.
A newspaper with a modest circulation.

Shy

An act of flinging or throwing something at a target.

Modest

Not bragging or boasting about oneself or one's achievements; unpretentious, humble.

Shy

Easily startled; timid
A shy deer.

Modest

Small, moderate in size.
He earns a modest amount of money.
Her latest novel was a modest success.

Shy

Tending to avoid contact or familiarity with others; retiring or reserved
A shy student who stayed in the back of the room.

Modest

Pure and delicate from a sense of propriety.
Modest thoughts or language

Shy

Characterized by reserve or diffidence
A shy glance.

Modest

Restraining within due limits of propriety; not forward, bold, boastful, or presumptious; rather retiring than pushing one's self forward; not obstructive; as, a modest youth; a modest man.

Shy

Distrustful; wary
Shy of strangers.

Modest

Evincing modestly in the actor, author, or speaker; not showing presumption; not excessive or extreme; moderate; as, a modest request; modest joy.

Shy

Not having a sufficient or specified amount, as of money
Was shy $100 on his rent.
Was two victories shy of the school record.

Modest

Marked by simplicity; having a humble opinion of yourself;
A modest apartment
Too modest to wear his medals

Shy

To move suddenly or draw back, as if startled or afraid
The horse shied at the loud sound.

Modest

Not large but sufficient in size or amount;
A modest salary
Modest inflation
Helped in my own small way

Shy

To avoid engaging in, treating, or discussing something
"a film adaptation that would not shy away from the novel's controversial themes" (Scot French).

Modest

Free from pomp or affectation;
Comfortable but modest cottages
A simple rectangular brick building
A simple man with simple tastes

Shy

To throw (something) with a swift motion; fling.

Modest

Low or inferior in station or quality;
A humble cottage
A lowly parish priest
A modest man of the people
Small beginnings

Shy

To throw something with a swift motion.

Modest

Humble in spirit or manner; suggesting retiring mildness or even cowed submissiveness;
Meek and self-effacing

Shy

A sudden movement, as from fright; a start.

Modest

Limited in size or scope;
A small business
A newspaper with a modest circulation
Small-scale plans
A pocket-size country

Shy

A quick throw; a fling.

Shy

(Informal) A gibe; a sneer.

Shy

(Informal) An attempt; a try.

Shy

Easily frightened; timid.

Shy

Reserved; disinclined to familiar approach.
He is very shy with strangers.

Shy

Cautious; wary; suspicious.

Shy

(informal) Short, insufficient or less than.
By our count your shipment came up two shy of the bill of lading amount.
It is just shy of a mile from here to their house.

Shy

Embarrassed.

Shy

(intransitive) To avoid due to caution, embarrassment or timidness.
I shy away from investment opportunities I don't understand.

Shy

(intransitive) To jump back in fear.
The horse shied away from the rider, which startled him so much he shied away from the horse.

Shy

(transitive) To throw sideways with a jerk; to fling.
To shy a stone
Shy a slipper

Shy

(Scottish) (transitive) or (intransitive) To throw a ball with two hands above the head, especially when it has crossed the side lines in a football (soccer) match. To hit the ball back into play from the sidelines in a shinty match.

Shy

An act of throwing.

Shy

A place for throwing.
Coconut shy

Shy

A sudden start aside, as by a horse.

Shy

In the Eton College wall game, a point scored by lifting the ball against the wall in the calx.

Shy

(Scottish) In soccer, a throw-in from the sidelines, using two hands above the head. In shinty, the act of tossing the ball above the head and hitting it with the shaft of the caman to bring it back into play after it has been hit out of the field.

Shy

Easily frightened; timid; as, a shy bird.
The horses of the army . . . were no longer shy, but would come up to my very feet without starting.

Shy

Reserved; coy; disinclined to familiar approach.
What makes you so shy, my good friend? There's nobody loves you better than I.
The embarrassed look of shy distressAnd maidenly shamefacedness.

Shy

Cautious; wary; suspicious.
I am very shy of using corrosive liquors in the preparation of medicines.
Princes are, by wisdom of state, somewhat shy of thier successors.

Shy

Inadequately supplied; short; lacking; as, the team is shy two players.

Shy

Owing money to the pot; - in cases where an opponent's bet has exceeded a player's available stake or chips, but the player chooses to continue playing the hand before adding the required bet to the pot.

Shy

To start suddenly aside through fright or suspicion; - said especially of horses.

Shy

To throw sidewise with a jerk; to fling; as, to shy a stone; to shy a slipper.

Shy

A sudden start aside, as by a horse.

Shy

A side throw; a throw; a fling.
If Lord Brougham gets a stone in his hand, he must, it seems, have a shy at somebody.

Shy

A quick throw;
He gave the ball a shy to the first baseman

Shy

Start suddenly, as from fight

Shy

Throw quickly

Shy

Lacking self-confidence;
Stood in the doorway diffident and abashed
Problems that call for bold not timid responses
A very unsure young man

Shy

Easily startled or frightened

Shy

Short;
Eleven is one shy of a dozen

Shy

Wary and distrustful; disposed to avoid persons or things;
Shy of strangers

Common Curiosities

What is the main difference between modesty and shyness?

Modesty is about self-restraint in showcasing abilities, while shyness is about discomfort in social interactions.

How are modesty and shyness perceived differently?

Modesty is generally viewed positively as a virtue, while shyness can be seen as a barrier in social and professional settings.

Does shyness affect professional life?

Yes, shyness can hinder professional interactions and opportunities, especially in roles requiring strong communication skills.

Can a person be both modest and shy?

Yes, a person can be both, showing restraint in self-promotion while also feeling socially inhibited.

Is modesty a choice?

Modesty can be a conscious choice influenced by personal, cultural, or ethical values.

Why is modesty valued?

Modesty is appreciated for maintaining harmony and respect within interactions, preventing arrogance.

Can shyness be overcome?

With practice, support, and sometimes professional help, many people can overcome or manage their shyness.

How does culture influence perceptions of modesty and shyness?

Cultural values significantly shape how these traits are viewed, with some cultures placing higher value on modesty and others on outgoing confidence.

What strategies help manage shyness?

Techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy, social skills training, and gradual exposure to social settings can help.

Can high achievers be modest?

Yes, many high achievers choose to downplay their success in favor of modesty.

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Author Spotlight

Written by
Fiza Rafique
Fiza Rafique is a skilled content writer at AskDifference.com, where she meticulously refines and enhances written pieces. Drawing from her vast editorial expertise, Fiza ensures clarity, accuracy, and precision in every article. Passionate about language, she continually seeks to elevate the quality of content for readers worldwide.
Co-written by
Maham Liaqat

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