Modest vs. Shy — What's the Difference?
By Fiza Rafique & Maham Liaqat — Updated on May 2, 2024
Modesty is the quality of being unassuming in the estimation of one's abilities, while shyness is a discomfort or inhibition in social situations.
Difference Between Modest and Shy
Table of Contents
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Key Differences
Modesty involves a low view of one's importance or a deliberate choice to not flaunt one's abilities or achievements. It often reflects a conscious ethical or cultural value. Shyness, on the other hand, is primarily an emotional or psychological condition characterized by feelings of nervousness or timidity, especially in social contexts.
While modesty is expressed through behavior and attitudes that show restraint in self-promotion, shyness manifests as reluctance or inability to engage comfortably with others. This can include avoiding social interactions or feeling anxious when attention is directed toward oneself.
People can be modest about their talents or accomplishments without necessarily being shy; they may simply prefer to keep a low profile or consider their achievements to be of normal or minor significance. Conversely, a shy person might not feel modest about their skills but may be too anxious or lacking in confidence to share them openly.
Modesty is generally seen as a positive trait, valued in many social and professional environments as a sign of good character or politeness. Shyness, while not inherently negative, can be perceived as a barrier to effective communication and may be viewed less favorably, especially in cultures that value assertiveness.
In social settings, a modest person might deflect praise or downplay their success, whereas a shy individual might avoid social gatherings altogether or struggle to speak up even when they have valuable ideas or opinions.
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Comparison Chart
Definition
The quality of being unassuming or moderate.
Discomfort or inhibition in social situations.
Behavioral Expression
Understating one's abilities or achievements.
Hesitation or withdrawal in social interactions.
Psychological Basis
Often based on values or ethical beliefs.
Rooted in emotional responses like anxiety.
Perception in Society
Seen as a virtue or positive trait.
Can be seen as a hindrance in social interaction.
Relationship to Confidence
Does not necessarily reflect low self-confidence.
Often linked to low self-esteem or confidence.
Compare with Definitions
Modest
Free from vanity or showiness.
They lived in a modest house despite their wealth.
Shy
Sensitive to potential negative evaluations by others.
Shyness in children can often be misinterpreted as unfriendliness.
Modest
A mode of dress and behavior intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.
Her modest attire was appropriate for the solemn occasion.
Shy
The condition of feeling nervous or timid in the company of other people.
Her shyness made it difficult to make new friends at school.
Modest
Showing a moderate estimation of one's merits.
Despite her vast knowledge, her modesty keeps her from boasting.
Shy
Tending to avoid social interactions.
His shyness kept him from attending the party.
Modest
Reserved in the expression of one’s abilities.
His modesty often led others to underestimate his talents.
Shy
Discomfort in situations where one might be the center of attention.
His shyness is apparent whenever he is asked to present his ideas in meetings.
Modest
The quality of not being too proud or confident about yourself or your abilities.
He accepted the award with modesty, attributing his success to his team.
Shy
Inhibited in acting or speaking before others.
Shyness overcame her when asked to speak in front of the crowd.
Modest
Modest may refer to:
Shy
Nervous or timid in the company of other people
I was pretty shy at school
A shy smile
Modest
Unassuming in the estimation of one's abilities or achievements
He was a very modest man, refusing to take any credit for the enterprise
Shy
Less than; short of
The shares are 29p shy of their flotation price
Modest
(of an amount, rate, or level) relatively moderate, limited, or small
Drink modest amounts of alcohol
Employment growth was relatively modest
Shy
(of a plant) not bearing flowers or fruit well or prolifically.
Modest
Having or showing a moderate estimation of one's own abilities, accomplishments, or value
Was too modest to talk about his success.
Shy
(especially of a horse) start suddenly aside in fright at an object, noise, or movement
Their horses shied at the unfamiliar sight
Modest
Having or proceeding from a disinclination to call attention to oneself; retiring or diffident
A quiet, modest demeanor.
Shy
Fling or throw (something) at a target
He tore the spectacles off and shied them at her
Modest
Free from showiness or ostentation; unpretentious
A house with modest furnishings.
Shy
A sudden startled movement, especially of a frightened horse.
Modest
Moderate or limited in size, quantity, or range; not extreme
A modest price.
A newspaper with a modest circulation.
Shy
An act of flinging or throwing something at a target.
Modest
Not bragging or boasting about oneself or one's achievements; unpretentious, humble.
Shy
Easily startled; timid
A shy deer.
Modest
Small, moderate in size.
He earns a modest amount of money.
Her latest novel was a modest success.
Shy
Tending to avoid contact or familiarity with others; retiring or reserved
A shy student who stayed in the back of the room.
Modest
Pure and delicate from a sense of propriety.
Modest thoughts or language
Shy
Characterized by reserve or diffidence
A shy glance.
Modest
Restraining within due limits of propriety; not forward, bold, boastful, or presumptious; rather retiring than pushing one's self forward; not obstructive; as, a modest youth; a modest man.
Shy
Distrustful; wary
Shy of strangers.
Modest
Evincing modestly in the actor, author, or speaker; not showing presumption; not excessive or extreme; moderate; as, a modest request; modest joy.
Shy
Not having a sufficient or specified amount, as of money
Was shy $100 on his rent.
Was two victories shy of the school record.
Modest
Marked by simplicity; having a humble opinion of yourself;
A modest apartment
Too modest to wear his medals
Shy
To move suddenly or draw back, as if startled or afraid
The horse shied at the loud sound.
Modest
Not large but sufficient in size or amount;
A modest salary
Modest inflation
Helped in my own small way
Shy
To avoid engaging in, treating, or discussing something
"a film adaptation that would not shy away from the novel's controversial themes" (Scot French).
Modest
Free from pomp or affectation;
Comfortable but modest cottages
A simple rectangular brick building
A simple man with simple tastes
Shy
To throw (something) with a swift motion; fling.
Modest
Low or inferior in station or quality;
A humble cottage
A lowly parish priest
A modest man of the people
Small beginnings
Shy
To throw something with a swift motion.
Modest
Humble in spirit or manner; suggesting retiring mildness or even cowed submissiveness;
Meek and self-effacing
Shy
A sudden movement, as from fright; a start.
Modest
Limited in size or scope;
A small business
A newspaper with a modest circulation
Small-scale plans
A pocket-size country
Shy
A quick throw; a fling.
Shy
(Informal) A gibe; a sneer.
Shy
(Informal) An attempt; a try.
Shy
Easily frightened; timid.
Shy
Reserved; disinclined to familiar approach.
He is very shy with strangers.
Shy
Cautious; wary; suspicious.
Shy
(informal) Short, insufficient or less than.
By our count your shipment came up two shy of the bill of lading amount.
It is just shy of a mile from here to their house.
Shy
Embarrassed.
Shy
(intransitive) To avoid due to caution, embarrassment or timidness.
I shy away from investment opportunities I don't understand.
Shy
(intransitive) To jump back in fear.
The horse shied away from the rider, which startled him so much he shied away from the horse.
Shy
(transitive) To throw sideways with a jerk; to fling.
To shy a stone
Shy a slipper
Shy
(Scottish) (transitive) or (intransitive) To throw a ball with two hands above the head, especially when it has crossed the side lines in a football (soccer) match. To hit the ball back into play from the sidelines in a shinty match.
Shy
An act of throwing.
Shy
A place for throwing.
Coconut shy
Shy
A sudden start aside, as by a horse.
Shy
In the Eton College wall game, a point scored by lifting the ball against the wall in the calx.
Shy
(Scottish) In soccer, a throw-in from the sidelines, using two hands above the head. In shinty, the act of tossing the ball above the head and hitting it with the shaft of the caman to bring it back into play after it has been hit out of the field.
Shy
Easily frightened; timid; as, a shy bird.
The horses of the army . . . were no longer shy, but would come up to my very feet without starting.
Shy
Reserved; coy; disinclined to familiar approach.
What makes you so shy, my good friend? There's nobody loves you better than I.
The embarrassed look of shy distressAnd maidenly shamefacedness.
Shy
Cautious; wary; suspicious.
I am very shy of using corrosive liquors in the preparation of medicines.
Princes are, by wisdom of state, somewhat shy of thier successors.
Shy
Inadequately supplied; short; lacking; as, the team is shy two players.
Shy
Owing money to the pot; - in cases where an opponent's bet has exceeded a player's available stake or chips, but the player chooses to continue playing the hand before adding the required bet to the pot.
Shy
To start suddenly aside through fright or suspicion; - said especially of horses.
Shy
To throw sidewise with a jerk; to fling; as, to shy a stone; to shy a slipper.
Shy
A sudden start aside, as by a horse.
Shy
A side throw; a throw; a fling.
If Lord Brougham gets a stone in his hand, he must, it seems, have a shy at somebody.
Shy
A quick throw;
He gave the ball a shy to the first baseman
Shy
Start suddenly, as from fight
Shy
Throw quickly
Shy
Lacking self-confidence;
Stood in the doorway diffident and abashed
Problems that call for bold not timid responses
A very unsure young man
Shy
Easily startled or frightened
Shy
Short;
Eleven is one shy of a dozen
Shy
Wary and distrustful; disposed to avoid persons or things;
Shy of strangers
Common Curiosities
What is the main difference between modesty and shyness?
Modesty is about self-restraint in showcasing abilities, while shyness is about discomfort in social interactions.
How are modesty and shyness perceived differently?
Modesty is generally viewed positively as a virtue, while shyness can be seen as a barrier in social and professional settings.
Does shyness affect professional life?
Yes, shyness can hinder professional interactions and opportunities, especially in roles requiring strong communication skills.
Can a person be both modest and shy?
Yes, a person can be both, showing restraint in self-promotion while also feeling socially inhibited.
Is modesty a choice?
Modesty can be a conscious choice influenced by personal, cultural, or ethical values.
Why is modesty valued?
Modesty is appreciated for maintaining harmony and respect within interactions, preventing arrogance.
Can shyness be overcome?
With practice, support, and sometimes professional help, many people can overcome or manage their shyness.
How does culture influence perceptions of modesty and shyness?
Cultural values significantly shape how these traits are viewed, with some cultures placing higher value on modesty and others on outgoing confidence.
What strategies help manage shyness?
Techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy, social skills training, and gradual exposure to social settings can help.
Can high achievers be modest?
Yes, many high achievers choose to downplay their success in favor of modesty.
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Written by
Fiza RafiqueFiza Rafique is a skilled content writer at AskDifference.com, where she meticulously refines and enhances written pieces. Drawing from her vast editorial expertise, Fiza ensures clarity, accuracy, and precision in every article. Passionate about language, she continually seeks to elevate the quality of content for readers worldwide.
Co-written by
Maham Liaqat